[07 Nov 2007|01:23am] The fact that I can text you in the middle of the night to tell you I want to leave and have you tell me youll look into schools reminds me of why youre my best friend. 1 comments<3|say what

[04 Nov 2007|06:27pm] I never know what I want, im currently eating mac and cheese but starting tommorrow im going to eat vegan again. The only thing I eat now that isnt vegan is cheese. Im not going to eat a ton of pasta like I used to though, im going to actually loose weight for once. Only downfall is my jacket is wool, ohhhhhhhh welll. say what

rant [03 Sep 2007|09:22pm] Dont take offense to this, its not about anyone imparticular, its just my rambling on about the general public. Over the last few months I've realized the direction society is going in. Myspace has become one of the most popular sites on the internet, its on the news, in magazines and on tv shows everyday. People use it to meet people they dont talk to in real life. Peoples social skills are slowly diminishing. Look around, click someones site, youll find out so much more about someone than you would if you were to meet them in real life. You can find out how easy it is to get with someone. Its all sort of pathetic. The night before last Josh and I were talking about all the ladies who would add him to their myspace friends and just leave him simple myspace comments or send him messeges being like "hey, how are you? lets hangout soon!" and he would automaticly assume that they were into him. From a simple friendly communication such as that he'd think wow this chick wants to fuck me. Then earlier today I told skooch he should come over and watch movies with me, he then asked me if I was comming onto him. Naturally I said no and he didnt believe me. Aparently now something as common as watching a movie really has hidden meanings. When I told him I wasnt like that he told me I was "a needle in a haystack". People are so focused on the sexual aspects of everything. I think its completely fucked that people will have sex with people just to up their status or say they had sex with someone popular in a hope that theyll end up having more friends or people will think theyre cooler. Im not pointing fingers at just girls who have sex with dudes in bands but there are men who do the same exact thing. Girls find boys in bands and fuck the shit out of them so that they can brag to all their friends. There are boys who are lower on the social chain who find the girls that have alot of friends in hopes that if they hangout with that girl enough they'll make new friends and move on. These days people even try and come between people and their significant others. How messed up could you be to do this. Honestly, doing things like sending noods to someone or even hitting on them when you know they have someone they are dating is so messed up. There are so many people in this world that noone needs to try and come inbetween someone elses relationship, in many cases this happens because someone in the relationship is "hot, sexy, attractive" anything you want to call it. People look for other people based on their beauty, usually never because of their personality. This is the point where I can say there are aspects about the internet I actually enjoy. Yes, I sound hypocritcal, if you know me you know how often I am on the internet, but theres so many negative aspects to it. The good one however, is that in talking to someone you meet on the internet chances are you findout what they are really like. Looking at someone via a picture doesnt usually give youa clear or definite idea of what they look like. However, in the amount of time you spend talking to someone via aim or phone you get to know their personalities, likes, dislikes and other things. Then if you talk long enough its hard for you to dislike them, youve grown intouch with them, "fallen for them" if you will. Im at a point in my life where I dont really know how many people will ever find true love, or even if it exists at all. I would say people who are with someone with serious health problem or say they were burned terribly in a fire whomever stayed with them truely loved them but then I realize that theres a chance they dont leave them for the sole purpose that they feel bad or pity them. People are obsessed with looking good and I dont see it changing anytime soon. another thing that really gets to me is how fake everyone is. Everyone makes judgements about others before they even meet them. Over the last few months people I dont even know have taken the side of others who dislike me, they judge before they even meet someone. Even people I do know change their opinions on me based on what their friends think. Even if what sed friends have stories that mostly come from their imagination. Its a world where people arnt genuine anymore Right now I dont really know if love or sincerity are real, but one thing is for sure, lust and fabricated friends sure are. society kind of disapoints me. The kids are fuckin dead. 9 comments<3|say what

[25 Jun 2007|09:23am] So even though we were fighting jeff still called me whcih was nice. The other day I went to enriques. Joe, his lady friend, some other girl, kara and myself all went minigolfing. Enrique watched becuase, as usual, he had no money. I lost terribly, joe laughed at me. Sweeet. First blood was good, seeing skooch was nice. Robby came, he always makes me laugh. Hammer bros tommorrow :] Meghan and Jolene are comming up from NY friday night and staying at my house. Im excited. I have to be at work in a half hour, I havent showerd yet, im so tired. ughhhhh say what

[21 Jun 2007|12:49am] I just came home to a IM from my brother saying something along the lines of "I just read like 5 articles about sXe, I can totally be straight edge so you cant say im not" 2 comments<3|say what

Keegan sucks [29 May 2007|12:55am] This is my newest myspace messege. You are fucking pitiful. Its sad that you can be friends with someone who cheated on their boyfriend, and ruined their life and everything they had going for them. You have absolutely no understanding of the utterly horrific things that he has been been made the victim of through out his entire life, and therefore you cant even begin to understand how much he has completely devastated his own life, even though he is pathetic enough to lie to himself and others to attempt to justify him giving up upon himself. He knows that he has ruined his life, allowed eveyone who has abused him his entire life to force him to remain a vicitm, and hurt the only person who ever loved and cared for him in his entire life by cheating on me and destroying his life, the life of the only person I ever loved. He absolutely knows how much he has devastated and hurt me and him self. He knows this is the truth deep down, regardless of the bullshit lies he as fed to himself and attempeted to feed to other people in an effort to accept and justify his own utterly miserable defeats and failures he has chosen to afflict upon himself. You could barely even begin to comprehend how much I dedicated to helping and saving that boys life, everything I dealt with, suffered through, sacrificed and jeopardized to help someone change their life and become who they wanted to be, because I truely loved them. I learned what it meant to honestly love and care about someone more that you do yourself. You could never even begin to comprehend the pain and misery I suffered through to watch that person destroy everything positive that they had become, only so that they could give up on themselves and ruin their life, by becoming exactly like the very people who devastated and destroyed their entire childhood and life. You will never be able to understand how much it hurt me to have the only person I every truely loved and cared for betray me and hurt me more than anyone has hurt me in my entire life. Even after all he had done to hurt me (cheat on me, break edge, go back to doing cocaine, and the so many other horrifically abusive, both mentally and physically, things he had done to me through out our relationship) I gave him a last opportunity to save himself and I promised that I would forgive him and not give up on him, and he refused, he had fully accepted the lies that he had fed to himself to justify destroying his life and remaining the victim he feels he deserves to be. At that point I realized that I had done everything I could but that I could no longer help someone save their own life if they no longer believed in themselves or wanted to. This has been the hardest thing for me to accept in my life. But I am going to accept that reality that, the relationship I had in my life has been completely destroyed and I am going to move on in my life- because that is all that I can do now, and unlike Pete I cannot allow my life to be ruined and devastated, I cannot give up on myself. Even though I am going to move on in my life I cannot hide how I truely feel about the disgusting person that I have come realize that you are. You obviously know that you disrespected and betrayed me by reamaing friends with a person who has done this to me. But worst of all, you have remained friends with someone and stood by them while they completely destroyed their life and therefore supported them in that terrible destruction of their own life. You have allowed and fostered the destruction of one of your 'best friends' lives. You are completely repugnant, weak, and pathetic Heather. It will honestly make me happy to see you remain the ugly, fat, miserable cunt that you have made me realize you deserve to be. You have lost all respect in my eyes- you are completely disgusting. Do not ever attempt to talk to me again, I unlike you, want nothing to do with pitiful scum bags. Sorry I like petey. Oh well. Im a fat miserable cunt, lets hangout. 7 comments<3|say what

[21 May 2007|04:13pm] had fun yesterday even though it rained alot. I have a 103 temp now ( Graduation party! ) 3 comments<3|say what

Its the 2nd day of the new year.... [02 Jan 2007|05:27pm] ( I know complained a lot about 06 but it did have some good times(pic recap)  ) It was a good year. I think 07 might be better, im gunna graduate, go to college, move into an apartment, get a puppy, and just relax. I don’t want to be busy all the time like I am now I was to just take it easy and live life the best I can. I want to hang out with everyone I know and just be the best person I can be. Thankyou everyone I’ve hung out with or talked to in 06’ lets hope 07’ is as good. 7 comments<3|say what

Sorry no more lurking. [24 Feb 2006|11:50pm] Friends Only ♥ 5 comments<3|say what

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